Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Randomosity

Just a stream of consciousness for lack of any real post of any kind...


Ever since Ortho Doc told me I'd be getting my braces off in a few weeks, I've been even more obsessed with my teeth. I'm constantly checking my teeth in the mirror. I brush them all the time. And I TALK about them ALL.THE.TIME. Surely everyone I know thinks I'm a lunatic. Take for instance this whiny diatribe convo that I had with The Notorious B.O.B....


Me: Baby something is up with my gums.
B.O.B.: What do you mean mama?
Me: Like, (insert long ass incoherent explanation here) I guess I'm just paranoid or something.
B.O.B.: (not wanting to state the obvious) *blink*


*sigh* I want them OFF.


I love Britney Spears' latest album. You can start judging me now. Fuck you in advance.


I've decided on my next tattoo. "Dios conmigo y yo con El" across my back like where my bra strap goes. And then my sunflower on my hip for Joy. And then I'm (probably) done with tattoos (maybe).


Am I the only person for whom discussing salary expectations is REALLY uncomfortable?


When you have random discussions about personal lubrication preferences with your co-workers, you are far too comfortable.


Also, I should really stop calling people all kinds of offensive, inflammatory shit.


And wasn't I supposed to stop fucking cursing.


Wow. I knew it was bad. But not that bad. I'm glad I don't have to deal with it anymore but I'm sorry you have to deal with it at all.

Honey ate my breakfast this morning. I am STARVING. lol


Burberry The Beat is what's been missing from my life. It's the new summer scent.


Speaking of summer, WHY on EARTH am I getting so hot in the ass?!


Sometimes I hardly recognize myself in how far I've come.


When I say something about me, it's not a lead in to a convo about you. I don't care how relevant your story. Pass it on.


Omg please someone find me a sexy pair of black strappy sandals so I can stop bitching about it.


I need cable. Yesterday. But since I don't have it...


Please someone tell me they're obsessed with Deal or no Deal like I am.


I need to do something with my hair. No scissors involved. Maybe summer highlights? Discuss.

Dear Mrs. Aguilerra-Bateman, I respectfully request you stay off my damn shuffle on my ipod when I'm at the gym. "Fighter" will make me kill myself. You too Kanye.
Sincerely Yours,
Run Fatgirl Run


That's all for now. Anybody wanna interview me? Elsewise you might never get a real post, lol. Have at it in the comments!

22 comments:

the joy said...

I like the Spanish tattoo. Is that a jay z lyric? Lol, what was your breakfast and how did honey eat it?

I hate talking about salaries. But that's because I don't know how to negotiate. I'm always afraid they'll decided I want too much.

Chris said...

"While Astroglide gives off a special tingle, I prefer good old KY Jelly...nothing like the original..well except for natural juices flowing."

Hilarious.

mia. said...

I’m not judging you for liking the Britney Spears’ album. I just really want to know how you happened to listen to it in order to like it…

Thoughts of a Southern gal said...

LOL @ Mia. That was gonna be my question.

I'm not trying to get that comfortable with my coworkers. Hell I'm not trying to talk about no type of lubrication with anybody.

Mr. Jones said...

You can start judging me now. Fuck you in advance.

So, yeah....I'm gonna find a way to work this statement into my life. Like...for obvious reasons I won't use that as my email signature or anything. Maybe I can use it as my sig on this raunchy ass message post I post on.

Opinionated Diva said...

I've never said it, but I think highly of you...and this is solely based on your killer writing style...BUT Britney??? I am so side eyeing my computer right now.

Yeah those braces need to come off pronto! They are OBVIOUSLY too tight!

How many tatts do you have already?

Ummm I don't ever want to stop cursing...feels too good!

OMG @ not having cable...you poor thing!

Highlights...luv 'em!

Jarrod said...

Asking for money is easy. Convincing someone why they should give it to you is the hard part.

Stacie von Kutieboots said...

as for hair, get a sew in. I've seen pics with you and weave and it looks gooder than a bitc...

ixnay or deal or no deal

i'm not comfortable talking about money, period. i just want it in my bank account when its supposed to be there!

strappy black heels. a staple in any wardrobe but i think that may be hard to find right now. everyone's about the wedges and canvas and peep-toe. its the 1950s all over again.

La said...

Joy hahaha uh no. Please tell me you know me better than thinking I would get a random rap lyric tattooed on me. Scrambled eggs and turkey bacon. I put it up on my headboard while I went to pee thinking she couldn't get to it...about that...

Chris it was actually Platinum Wet up for discussion, lol

Mia I believe I am pardoned only because I didn't pay for the album. My sis works for a radio station so she sends me free cds that they have. I have pretty much every kinda music you can think of cuz it's a Top 40 station. Better?

Southern Gal usually I'm that person too. I try and stay away from all personal and hot button issues at work; i.e sex, relationships, politics, religion, etc. This was one of those somebody said something that I overheard and commented on it absentmindedly and then went, "Oops."

Mr. Jones if anyone can pull it off it's you, lol

Diva hahaha I somehow knre I would get the side eye off that. But thanks for the vote of confidence! I clearly need these things outta my face. They're messing up my whole everything! I have 4... small ones on each wrist, the small of my back and on my right shoulder blade. I always feel like I need to specify because when people hear "4 tattoos" they think I work in a bike shop, lol. Truth is, most of the time you can't see any of them. And that's the way I like it.

Jarrod I'm the exact opposite. I can convince you easy. It's just my abnormal paranoia that I won't even get to tap dance my way into whatever I want because I won't get an interview because someone will look at my salary expectations and go, "Err?!?"

Staceface thank you! I do loves my weave. That's a thought. I just don't know if I want all that hair on my head and down my back when I know how hot it's about to get. I'm not comfy talking about money either. I think it's a southern thing. Thats my problem! Everyone wants to peep toe or platform me... and I already have 7 pairs of peep toes and 8 pairs of platforms, lol

Blah Blah Blah said...

1st off...my old ass can't fucking read the yellow...kindly refraim...or is that reframe. I know your like, "figure it out with your old ass." Not funny. Sort of.

1st off ...again:
Britney? Really? Not because she's a wack job...but because I can't imagine anyone actually being interested enough to listen to the WHOLE album...just sayin'...nothing on you...sort of.
LOL

2nd thing 1st...I like your randomness Ms.

2nd thing 2nd...I think highlights are the way to go...less you like shorter hair in the summer since it's so damn humid. Me myself...well I have the lights and I am so damn lazy that a ponytail suffices in place of hair on neck.

Ok...your turn.

Vdizzle said...

The teef obssesion is common right when you're getting your braces off. I remember doing that.

"Fuck you in advance" is GREAT!!

the joy said...

I came back to say 2 things. 1, its refrain. 2, lube! Lol.

cherry's kid said...

ok who's B.O.B.?

It's Britney Bitches...now you can keep cursing cause the song curses

I'm so down with small tattoos you can't see...they are so sneaky and cute!!!!

I agree with Von Kutieboots...haven't seen the photo but I'm a Weavenista...so Weave all Day!!!!!

No Deal Period! LOL

cherry's kid said...

oh and Zappos.com for a good strappy shoe!

Christina said...

nah those tattoos wont be your last..i like that saying

Christina said...

the tattoo quote i mean lol

Rashan Jamal said...

Bout damn time you posted.. LOL

Translation for the tattoo please.

The lubrication convo is way too comfortable, but it reminds me of a convo I overheard and was invited into at work. 3 girls asking about pubic hair preferences... "Do you like it waxed, wild or trimmed?" Did I mention that I didn't know these women?

When I say something about me... I have the funniest story about that. LOL

Glad to hear no scissors are involved. No clippers either, right?

La said...

Blah hahahaha! Nut. I'll refrain from using yellow in the future. But blogger ain't much with the color choices. Just sayin'. Stop judging me! I listened to the album at the gym entirely ready to make fun of it and then...notsomuch, lol. I was thinking highlights too. For the last week my hair has been in a curly ponytail on the back of my head so I don't think it'll be a problem. Of course all that means is that now I have to decide on a color...

V you should see me. Everytime I pass a mirror I've got my lips pulled back a la Mr. Ed staring at my teeth, lol

Joy I'm passing the good word, lol. And that convo is EXACTLY why I all absentmindedly contributed to this one without considering the consequences, lol

Cherry B.O.B. is my super secret significant other we never speak of so some think B.O.B. is an apparition, lol. I love all my tattoos. Especially considering until I tell people they don't really realize that I have em. No Deal is the shit! Stop hating! lol

Chris hahaha I got it.

RJ haha HUSH! I don't see you tryin' to interview me so I have something to post about *Diva Side Eye* It means "God in me and I in Him". It sounds like they didn't want you opinion in as much as they wanted you to exam their fade work. Which always seems to bring me back to the question, WHERE DO YOU FIND THESE WOMEN?!? lol No scissors, clippers, razors or any other cutting device of any kind. My hair is getting too long for that, lol

X Factor said...

Hahahahahahaha!!!! Run Fatgirl Run!!!!! RUUNNNNNNNNN!!!!! Now what else piqued my interest here...

Bye bye braces :)

We've discussed Britney. The end.

So... what the hell does all that jibber jabberish mean in ENGLIGH??? You know how I feel about all those OTHER languages!
GO HIGH. That is all.

Who the fuck said you need to stop cursing so goddam much? Get the hell out of here! That shit is ridiculous!! LMFAO!!!

"When I say something about me, it's not a lead in to a convo about you. I don't care how relevant your story. Pass it on." **blink** I am soooo guilty of that. I'ma do better. I promise.

Sooooo obsessed with "Deal or Deal!" Is it Claudia... DAMMIT what is her name??

Summer highlights sound like the winner. But be verrry careful.

No breakage that will lead to the necessity of scissors. Yay warm brown :)

Ms. Behaving said...

Hold tight gurl...the braces'll be off in a hot minute :-)

"I love Britney Spear's latest album" --- Ummm...I'll leave that one alone.

Even though I had to have it translated [lol] I like the idea of that spanish tat.

Random discussions about personal lubricants?!?!?! I COULD NEEEEEEEEEEEEVER SEE MYSELF GETTIN' THAT DAMN COMFORTABLE and damn sure NOT with my coworkers...

CENSORING YOUR BLOG CONTENT IS FOR THE BIRDS!!!

DON'TCHU DARE DO IT!!!

Hope you have a great weekend!!

Christina said...

actually i'm kinda pretty sure that"Dios conmigo y yo con El" is God with me and I with He....

jameil1922 said...

is the tatt gonna be the size of your bra strap and vertical? b/c that would be very interesting. as for brit... her cd is very good for bouncing around and twirling the booty. yep. twirling. lmao @ pass it on. you know we are HERE!! a lot of women have the salary expectation problem. know what cured me? not liking my salary and knowing i could've gotten better.