Wednesday, November 5, 2008

"So What up? What's Haapnin? All you Haters get at Me"

If I wasn't sure that I have aligned myself with the right party, all I needed to do was look at the shenanigans of Ralph Nader and his one word press conference, and then, at 11pm when John McCain announced that he was a loser, and his supporters, ever the class acts, booed.

That's fine. You can boo.


And so in the grand tradition of how we do it around here, I would like to present you with a list that X helped me cook up.

Things Obama Should Do now that he is President

1. Organize a fish fry and electric slide contest on the White House lawn to help pay down the deficit.

2. Announce that the Inauguration Ball is now a costume party, and come as the cover from the New Yorker.

3. Have Minister Louis Farrakhan participate in anything.

4. Give an interview to Fox News...
That consists entirely of him looking into the camera, waving, and saying, "Hi haters."

5. Replace Michelle's entire wardrobe with dashikis, all black, and berets.

6. Visit a mosque.

7. Go to a drag show.

8. Request to enter all events to the tune of "Swagger Like Us" rather than "All Hail the Chief". "Champion" by Kanye West is also an acceptable substitute.

9. Agree to a series of townhall style meetings.

10. Call Jesse Jackson and ask him how he planned to swing from his nuts if he wanted to cut them off.

11. Look into installing a stainless steel grill in the White House.

12. Name William Ayers as his daughter's godfather.

13. Insist on being sworn in by Jeremiah Wright.

14. Greet all press corps with, "What's crackin' lil bitches."

15. Freely admit that he thinks Palin is an idiot, that the Republicans were discpicable for suing him for going to see his grandmother, and that he too was worried about Buddy Lee dying in office.

16. Appoint Niecey Nash as the Secretary of the Department of the Interior.

17. Point and laugh at anyone who suggests that affirmative action is no longer neccessary.

18. Ask Elisabeth Hasselbeck to be the director of a new group called Radical Conservatives for the Colored Guy.

19. From now on only greet Senator Mccain by saying, "Up high!!!" and raising his hand above his head for a high five.

20. Have a swag suite at the Innauguration Ball... gifting all of Oprah's favorite things.

What else should he do? Leave it in the comments!!! In the meantime...


Jada said...

*Dead* @ 1, 10, 15, and 19! You a hot mess! LOL! Whooo I'm so happy he won...brush them haters off Obama! America came out and did the damn thang!

the joy said...

lmao!!! i cant take yall

kesi said he should brick the front lawn and put up a basketball court.

Thoughts of a Southern gal said...

Put a basketball court in the backyard. Allow every black person to walk through the White House.

Chris said...

At all US-related events, either Marvin's 1983 NBA all star game anthem or Whitney's Super Bowl XVII anthem shall be played.

The friends with benefits law - everybody should have one!

The Al Green grits act - 25 to life for a Cream of Wheat episode gone wrong.

I agree with Swagger like us as his theme.

"Why he so mad for? Why he gotta have it? Cause I slave my who life, now I'm the master, NAH NAH NAHHHHHHHH...wake up how it feel to be the shit and the urine, NAH NAH NAHHHHHH, I'm tryna get that Kobe number, one over Jordan!"

Vdizzle said...

Joy, I thought there was an atrium area and that's where I wanted the basketball court

PhlyyGirl said...

All I'm asking is that he play either "Pop Bottles" or "Pop Champagne" at the inauguration and I'm good to go!

Well that and charge people two dollars at the door and have the chefs serve the alcohol out of rubbermaid tubs in red dixie cups.

Duck said...




A MESS and a half!

(Quietly though, I'm forwarding this. Lol.)

And, oh yeah, on this I co-sign....



the joy said...

v that's probably true, but how would he have pick up games?

jameil1922 said...

ban the eating of watermelon by all black people. "Champion" by Kanye West was SO in my head last night!! AWESOME!!

Epsilonicus said...

My class and I played that T.I. song this morning as we celebrated! The kids thought John McCain was a hater!!

Qucifer said...

i Been saying they need to hate a boy in the White House and name him like Mohammed Hussein Obama Yeah Bitches the first I and pre enroll him in that same famous madrasa Big O attended too (Harvard ) for good measure

i LOVE the Hi Haters Fox Interview Idea... he does have a dazzling smile

Qucifer said...

i Been saying they need to hate a boy in the White House and name him like Mohammed Hussein Obama Yeah Bitches the first I and pre enroll him in that same famous madrasa Big O attended too (Harvard ) for good measure

i LOVE the Hi Haters Fox Interview Idea... he does have a dazzling smile

kaligyrl99 said...



cherry's kid said...


Um...yes..the tubes of liq and red cups are definitely needed!!!!!


Thoughts of a Southern gal said...

Have a gang of black people doing the Cupid Shuffle and Electric Slide on the White House lawn.

La said...

@Jada was I the only one waiting for him to brush his shoulders off? lol

@Joy that's because Kesi is a GENIUS, lol

@Southern Gal, now you know you can't just let niggas be all free up in your house, lol

@Chris BWAHAHAHAHA!! All of those are REALLY good! I vote for Marvin.

@Phlyy Girl A party ain't a party without red cups. He may not have any... but I can guarantee I'll have some at the inauguration in January. Pop Bottles! lol

@Duck hahahaha exactly. I know you got something to contribute. Come one... you know you want to... everybody's doin' it!

@Jam YESSSS! I know this is partially fueled by the fact that I can't stand the taste of watermelon, but everytime I see a black person eating it, it makes me cringe, lol

@Epsi your kids are lovely, lol

@Q I just know that because of that smile he could get away with being an asshole, lol

@Cherry's Kid surely the plans to pimp out Air Force One are already in being made...

@Southern Gal I am sure we will have that anyway come January 20th


So today I pulled into the gas staion and when I got out to pump my gas, I saw this cleeeeaaaaaan new Lexus... hyper whites, leather seats, nice but not gaudy rims, beautiful cranberry paint... marred by a McCain/Palin bumper sticker stuck to the back right underneath the dealer tags. I tried to contain myself, I really did, tried to think about what Obama would do but I couldn't help myself and I said...

"That must seem like a pretty dumb fucking idea now, huh?"

hee hee :)

Adei von K said...

omg, that picture is so beautiful. i love them.

niecy nash!!! LMAO!

SWAGGER LIKE US soooooooooooooooo needs to be the song!!!!!! OMG, I'd die!

Rashan Jamal said...

These comments and the post are hilarious.. I already did my list of a potential all black cabinet, so I'll refrain from posting more.

Still cracking up!!!

Opinionated Diva said...


Snickering for real at the Jesse Jackson comment...Al Sharpton will be swinging from them as well.

Blah Blah Blah said...


clarity said...

Hold a press conference for the sole purpose of announcing that he isn't appointing Hillary to jack shit.

Issue an executive order explaining what socialism is, and is not.

Visit a mosque dressed in the native garb he was pictured in during the primaries.

Hold his "meetings without preconditions" with Iran and Cuba on the rooftop of the Fox News Building.

Serve ribs at the Inaugural dinner.

Take his First Family Christmas photo with his whole multiracial extended family and send a personalized card to Rush Limbaugh.

Muze said...


so DEAD.

man. i haven't been by here in a while but i misseded your hilariousness.

lmao @ making mccain raise his arm for high fives.

you are a mess. lol.

Mr.Socialight said...

LMAO. number 19 is that ishness.

nikki said...

i could have sworn i posted a response to this!

LMAO@14. i would REALLY like to see that happen...

La said...

@adei DOn't you just love that pic? Everytime I see it, I smile.

@Rashan hahaha your black cabinet was genius

@Diva I am simply just saying, I would like to see how he would pull that off **shrug**

@clarity BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Those were fantastic. LMFAO!. "roof of fox news" hahahahahahahaha!

@Muze in my head I imagine it going something like Obama raising his hands above his head, and McCain trying in vain for about 5 minutes to jump up and hit it. Ahh hilarity.

@Mr. Socialight I'm telling you, that could entertain me for HOURS. Could you imagine a funnier youtube clip? lol

@nikki I can just imagine the cool ass way he would say it too. Like one of those, it doesn't occur to you to be offended til later, lol

Love Strokes said...

You got me laughing all loud at work these white folks already scared to make a move around me. BTW, only black female or black period in the office!

Organized Noise said...

I am loving this. Your list is funny (as is Chris's friends with benifits law). Now, I have a few:

1. On January 20th, instead of moving into the White House, turn it into a hotel. The Presidential residence will now be relocated to Harlem, U.S.A.

2. Air Force One will now be replaced by the plane from "Soul Plane".

3. All Presidential press conferences will be carried exclusively by BET and TV One

4. "Red" Kool-Aid is now the official drink of the U.S.A.

Kit (Keep It Trill) said...

I'm late on this post, but I gotta say, it's great and so are the comments. I'd stand and cheer if he used half of them.