Monday, August 20, 2012

Limited Engagement

(day 19 of 30)

There was a time in my online life, harkening way back to the days of BlackPlanet, when I felt it necessary to respond to everyone. Every message, every comment got a response. And as time wore on, the same thing proved true for MySpace and blogs and Facebook comments and emails and IMs. No matter what the comment, if I had anything of value to add or not, whether it was convenient for me or not, everything got a response.


It wasn't until fairly recently that I realized not everybody deserves to be engaged. I didn't need to respond out of polite I obligation. Not everyone deserves my engagement or even my acknowledgement. I am not under any responsibility to explain myself or convince anyone or entertain everyone.

Before long, I found this behavior spilling over into my everyday life. Suddenly I was free of circular arguments and done with inconveniencing myself for the appeasement of others. And the people I did engage reaped the benefit of me making an active choice to participate in our interaction. Being invested in it, choosing it, rather than allowing it to just happen to me.

It's so incredibly liberating.

2 comments:

LadyLee said...

You don't have to say a doggone thang to me, girl. Whatever. Just write!!!

Liberation is a good thing. People can stress you out something awful.

Wow... man... once you hit 30... it will become VERY apparent that everyone doesn't get an audience. Not everyone deserves your time or space. You have a choice in the matter.

And once you hit 40? Wow...

That is all.

I am finding that my interactions can be thrown into 2 categories. You're either uplifting me or holding me down. Ain't no in between. No telling what I'll be thinking once I hit 50! LOL.

ExecuteiveSweet said...

I totally feel you on that. I'm that way with some of co-workers. I'm like really that was an email. Delete.