Monday, January 28, 2013

Reformation

Honey puts her cold nose directly on the center of my forehead, our code for “Ok, mom, I have let you sleep as long as I can manage staying still and quiet but now my bladder is about to explode so could you take me out, please?” My eyes flutter open and I smile as she sits back on her hind legs, her tail a muffled swish across the carpet.
I sit up faster than I intend to, hoping to fit the need to put on clothes, take myself to the bathroom, get Honey downstairs, in her leash and outside in the few minutes between now and when she might pee on my floor. Suddenly, I am lightheaded, the head cold I have been fighting the last few days slapping me back down into my pillow. I send my daddy a text message.

Friday, January 11, 2013

"Student Loans are Good Debt" and Other Myths

Today’s installment of If Only I Knew Then What I Know Now is brought to you by the letters J and D for Jack Daniels, a chapter in G’s book over at When Keeping it Real Goes Right and this article on a guy who paid off $26K in student loans in two short years.
Reading over it, I was struck by how many friends I have that could have written the same article. In the years since I graduated, we have gathered regularly over mimosas or margaritas and while catching up on each other’s careers, significant and not-so-significant others, mutual friends and just life in general, invariably the conversation turns to that which is the monkey on our collective backs; student loans. Here is what is utterly ridiculous about the entire racket; I don’t know a single student who doesn’t have student loans. I am not saying there are none. I am saying, that of all the students of all the universities, I have encountered in my post graduate years, I DON’T KNOW A SINGLE ONE WHO DOESN’T HAVE STUDENT LOANS.

Friday, January 4, 2013

What we Can All Learn from Whores

(But first, a disclaimer: I don't believe in "whores." I don't believe in assessing the character of a person based solely on their sexual behavior. I think all people make different sexual choices that, if they are practicing them with equally consenting, adult partners, are awesome for them. But for the purposes of this exercise, let's assume whore = the agreed upon social norm that a woman who engages in sexual behavior including but not limited to; sex with a high number of partners, multiple partners #atthesamedamntime, leveraging sex for material goods, etc. is a hoe.)
Let’s begin.
I've known a few “whores” in my day. And not in the ha-ha-ha-OMG-you-did-what-with-your-boo-when-y'all-got-too-drunk-at-the-club-girl-you-such-a-hoe kinda whore. I mean real life, true-to-the-stereotype whores. Truth be told, you know some too. You've listened to their stories, probably dated one without divulging it to your friends, hell, you're probably closely related to one, but we can just Cupid Shuffle right on past that reality. The point is, there are hoes all around us, sharing sordid tales of their latest conquests over omelets and mimosas, not calling your homeboy back even though he bought her that Vuitton, walking through the party sizing up the crowd carefully.